100 words or 150 words??

                I’ve been hard at work making my Christmas cards for this holiday season.  I have finished a few short- shorts.  I have even illustrated one of the stories.  I’ve made my list of people I have to send cards to.  I’m already way ahead of the last few years!

I had a few good ideas for writing Christmas narratives.  I was trying to make the stories 100 words each, but I haven’t been able to achieve this goal.    One of them is 100 words, one of them is 150 words, and one of them was 300 words.  All short, but I really have a soft spot in my heart for 100 word stories.  I call them “story potato chips.” 

So what is the difference between 100 words and 150 words?  See for yourself.  Here is one of my stories I rejected.  It’s called “The Vow.”  I felt like it was too dark to be on a Christmas card.  I really like the idea behind it, so I’m posting it on the blog.   See for yourself the difference 50 words can make:

The Vow (150 words)

“I’m sorry.  This can’t be my life anymore.  I’ve moved on.”

                My hands shook.  Lives change every day, but when it’s your own, it rips your heart apart.  I tried to look at him, but I found myself staring at his shoes.

                “How can you make this decision so lightly?  After all these years…”

                “But I’m not, not really.  I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.  There is so much in the world I need to see.  I don’t want to be stuck here anymore.  I lost my enchantment with this a long time ago.  ”

                 I knew what I had to do. 

                “I, Santa Clause, release this elf before me from his duties at the North Pole.”

                I continued to watch his shoes.  No longer were they a pair of green velvet slippers decorated with jingle bells.  Instead, his feet now had on a pair of sneakers.

The Vow (100 words)

“I’m sorry.  I’ve moved on.”

                My hands shook.  I tried to look at him, but I found myself staring at his shoes.

                “How can you make this decision so lightly?  After all these years…”

                “I’m not.  I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time.  I lost my enchantment with this awhile ago.  ”

                 I knew what I had to do. 

                “I, Santa Clause, release this elf before me from his duties at the North Pole.”

                I continued to watch his shoes.  No longer were they a pair of velvet slippers.  Instead, he was wearing a pair of sneakers. 

                There are three big things I see in the 50 word difference.  First, lack of filler.  I say what my characters mean, and that’s it.  In conversation, we say a lot of fillers. In 100 word stories, that goes right out the window.  Second, no description.  You don’t have room to describe what things look like when you are working with so few words.   Third, I have to change words.  In the 150 word version I wrote, “I lost my enchantment with this a long time ago.” (Ten words)  In the 100 word version I wrote, “I lost my enchantment with this awhile ago.  ” (Eight words)   It’s not much, but it is a difference.

                I guess what I am trying to say is that story potato chips are not always easy to write, but they are fun and help improve editing skills.  So unlike real potato chips, which are fun but do not help you “edit” your waist line at all!

                Enjoy the rest of your weekend!